Day 6: Hot Spots!

Here we finally get started with the decluttering work. Up until now, it was morning routine and keeping one thing (the sink) clean and shiny. Part of this is reading Big Tent and recognizing negative voices and changing them to the positive.

But today we actually start decluttering!

Now I want you to set your timer for 2 minutes and lets practice putting out your Hot Spot. You don’t have to work till you have finished; just do what you can in 2 minutes. Put your bills in one place. This will keep you from having to search for them.

I have quite a few hot spots actually. The kitchen island is where I pile papers and mail. As is the kitchen table, the computer counter, my dresser, and multiple spots in my "office." I set my timer for 5 minutes (2 just seems like not enough) and cleared off the kitchen table. It seemed small enough. Small enough that I actually finished it in those 5 minutes. YAY!

Then I went about doing other things and a few hours later decided that I could do another 5 minutes on the kitchen island. Again, it's not done, and I'm okay with it this, it's smaller. And I'll get another 5 minutes tomorrow :)

Kitchen Island Hot Spot about a week ago - imagine it about 5x as big at least!!

This is the hardest step for me.

Are you hearing any of those nagging negative voices popping into your head? I want you to take a piece of paper and write down what you hear then I want you to turn those ugly words around and say something nice to yourself to negate the ugly words that they said.

I have tried doing the baby steps probably three to four times since I found Flylady at the end of 2007. I must admit I don't always do this step. It's hard to admit the negative voices. It's also equally hard to turn them around.

Truthfuly many of my negative voices belong to other people. My mother always made excuses for my mess. Because I was a teenager, or that I "came by it naturally" meaning my father was messy therefore it was natural for me to be messy too. My boyfriend says repeatedly that every woman he knows is cluttered and messy.

There are of course my voice is in there too. Mostly it is guilt. I have tried so often I feel that I am hardwired to fail. I'm sad because, I can't seem to achieve my goals. A year ago I adopted 2 kittens from a Human Shelter. I discovered quickly that my home was not baby proof or kitten proof. I read a number of organizing books. I really liked Julie Morgenstern's Organizing from the Inside Outside Out and SHED, when organizing isn't enough. I even tried the SHE method of note cards (the modified version, which has a card for all daily activities, weekly etc, rather than 1 card per activity). Here I am a year later.... I am no more organized, clean or decluttered than I was then. Though, yes, I did kitten proof the house!

I think that's why subconsciously I was "too busy" to do this yesterday. I knew it was going to be difficult, but all I can hope is that as I do it over this month maybe it'll be easier and easier. This is part of FLYing Finally Loving Yourself.

Here we go!

Negative thoughts I hear:
I am lazy. I am a slob. I won't ever be able to be neat, tidy, clean or organized. So there's no point in even trying.

Turn it around:
I didn't get this way over night, and I won't fix it over night either. It's okay to take baby steps. We all have to start somewhere. I am smart and ambitious. Being a procrastinator is not the same as being lazy, and it is something that I can learn to over come also. I may be cluttered, but I am not a slob and I am not dirty. I keep myself very well put together looking nice and clean. I
can learn to do this with my home also. It is okay to give things your best shot, even if it's not perfect. Giving up is the only real failure.

Whoo! Not as bad as I thought it was going to be. And, honestly, I do feel a little bit better now : )

I taped my list to my refridgerator so that I can look at it and remind myself everyday that I can do this.

I made sure last night to check what today's step was going to be so I didn't inadvertently miss something :)

Day four is Write these things Down. That is in addition to doing what we've already done. The baby steps compound on each other. So this morning I got up again, dressed to shoes (exercise gear) and went running. Showered and got ready for work (had time for liner, mascara and gloss!). I had a quick breakfast because I was also trying put stuff in the slow cooker for dinner, and say good bye to my mother. Yep, she's leaving with her husband for the next 6 months or so. If she was a skier she'd be a snow bird. She was nice enough to clean the litter boxes for me since I was running behind. Normally, I do the slow cooker on the weekends, so I'm hoping today was a glitch in the routine.

Anyway... Day 4.

"Your next thing is to write these things down on a sticky note and post them on your bathroom mirror and above your kitchen sink. This is the beginning of your Control Journal. The little notes help us to remember the habits we are trying to establish."

I tend to ignore my sticky notes after awhile. I have had the same "pick out your clothes for tomorrow" note on my door since February. I don't even see any more. So I'm going to make some fun signs on MS Publisher today.

But first... I'm off to Big Tent.

Sink is nice and shiny before I head to bed!

Day 3 is reinforcing what we've done the last two days: shining the sink, and getting dressed to shoes.

This morning I woke up, made the bed, got dressed and worked out. I think that qualifies as getting dressed to shoes. Then I showered, dressed for work and ate breakfast (and fed the cats). I had time for a little bit of make up, but not really the extent that I'd like. I made the sacrifice because I KNEW I'd be late if I did a full face and with meetings at 9:30, 10, and 11 I needed all the prep time I could get. So, it was eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss. Which goes a long way to making me feel more pulled together.

It was good thing I kept it quick, because as I was cleaning the litter box 5 minutes before it was time to go (I've timed it, it only takes me 4 minutes) I heard a crash from the kitchen. My cat that is obsessed with water had gotten on the table and knocked over my water glass, which then broke. So, I spent the next five minutes cleaning up water and shards of glass. He wasn't hurt luckily (no shards in his paws). Then after finishing the litter box, I had to put the broken glass safely in the recycling bin. Needless to say I was late leaving the house! Traffic was good though and I was only 5 minutes late to work.

I am looking forward to Friday when I don't have to be anywhere until 12:30. I am going to go through my morning routine leisurely to find out how long it really takes.

The second part of day 3 I will do tonight. But the sinks were looking pretty good this morning.

Day three also introduces Big Tent.com which is where the flylady has news, events and testimonials. It's where challenges are posted, the monthly focus, and weekly zone reminders.

I have to admit that in the past I have not utilized the website, emails, big tent the way I should. I get annoyed with the product placement (I'm sure they are wonderful, but do I really need to have an over priced feather duster shipped to my house to get things done around the house when a rag or a swiffer can do it just as well and as fast?). And I am really turned off by the god breezes (or whatever they are called). I'm not religious and hearing house cleaning called "home blessing" activates my gag reflex. I get that having a clean home will give me peace of mind and relieve a lot of stress in my life, but I rankle at the overt christianity in it.

But... the nice thing about Big Tent is that when I click on news I can read just the information I want and it doesn't clog my in box! I get a digest (Big Tent Blink), but I don't read it. I just log in and read what I need.

I will say that the testimonials are encouraging. Maybe someday I'll get to write one too.

Okay, I must admit to already falling down on this one today.

I did a few other things in my morning routine before getting completely dressed. Got sidetracked by things I decided last minute and didn't do my make up. That's not a total shame, although it's definitely something I'd like to start doing. On a regular basis, I just feel more put together and adult when I'm made up, with my hair done.

Part of the problem was the distractions, the other was that I didn't look ahead to see what step 2 was going to be. I figured I'd check online at work and do it when I got home. Little did I realize I need to do it first thing this morning.

I'm not going to be too hard on myself. I did manage to make the bed. And getting dressed to shoes, though maybe not hair and make up, is a habit that I do have now. I don't know when it really clicked, but I've noticed that even on the weekends if I don't plan on going anywhere I still get dressed. By doing my routine differently this morning, I realized that prefer the other.

Okay, I was all set to wait until Thursday to begin my baby steps. I thought if I was going to do it right I needed to clean the kitchen sink and I needed to have the kitchen sink to myself to do that.

Then I started searching for fly lady related blogs using Google Blog Search. I found some good ones and started following. I read one in particular (which I can't follow using blogger) that got me off my butt. She said " If you aren't willing to try something new then you aren't ready to try something new."

But I read it as: If you aren't willing to try something new then you aren't ready for change.

And I got to thinking... do I really want to change? And I thought about all of my frustrations living in CHAOtic mess. My feelings of guilt for having waited so long, for failing over and over. That's when I realized... yes I want to change. I want to live in a peaceful home, a tidy home, a home where I can have people over for a dinner party just because I want to.

I also read a comment on the post that mentioned that you need to find your own "sink." It might be the actual sink for some people (like the Fly Lady) but that motivating area might be different for other people. I suspect that something other than the kitchen sink might be my thing, but I am not sure and until I find it, I like the structure of being told, clean your sink!

Now, since the kitchen sink is pretty much always clean between my mom and her husband, I chose to do my bathroom... let's face it, it needed it. Now I know that Fly Lady has a lesson on how to shine your sink, but it involves using bleach and letting it sit for half an hour. With two very curious cats, one who loves to play in water (I know he's weird!) I didn't want to leave bleach in my sinks for any length of time. I'm also a big proponent of using cleaners that are chemical free and natural, which means I don't have traditional scouring cleanser. Instead, I used vinegar to soak, and baking soda to scrub. It worked great!

No before picture sorry :(

But here are my shiny bathroom sinks after:




There are some nicks in the ceramic that are showing up quite dark in the pictures, but rest assured they are shiny and clean.

A couple of nice side effects. Once the sinks were clean, I went ahead and hand washed some delicate clothes that have sitting on the counter for months and the areas around the counter mysteriously got a little cleaner/tidier too. I noticed that this morning. Who knew that a shiny sink would unconsciously get me to put things away too? A very nice side effect indeed.

So that is Day 1 Go Shine Your Sink! finished and crossed off my calendar. Feels great!

I have been doing very well with a morning routine on work days which consists of getting up, feeding my cats, getting dressed, having breakfast, packing lunch and cleaning the litter box before walking out the door. Right now though, I have a lot of help with the lunch department from my mother (you can't tell her that I'm a 31 year old who can make her own lunch without seriously hurting her feelings) as well as cleaning up the kitchen (her husband's "job"). So I know that I will have to add things to my morning routine as well as keep my morning routine on the weekends. Something I'm finding hard to do right now.

I am hoping that in the next few days I will have free reign over the house and that I can begin the baby steps the same day they leave. I figure any progress I make, or have made and keep, before then is just gravy.

I am hoping that by the time they get back in 4-6 months that I will have the house neat, tidy, and clutter free on a regular basis. Before they get back I want to have dinner party, maybe even a Halloween party and they are going to be my rewards for getting my act together.

In order to really measure my success, I'm adding pictures of my "before". And I'll update pictures on a weekly or monthly basis. Right now it's just my bedroom and bathroom - the two areas that need the most work.

My Bathroom

My Bedroom

My Bedroom Floor

So, why haven't I started the baby steps yet? I mean step 1 is pretty easy: shine your sink. The problem is that I don't have a sink.

Sound crazy? Everybody that lives somewhere has a sink. Okay, yes, I have a kitchen sink. The problem is, I don't consider it mine.

I have alot of reasons for wanting to be successful at the decluttering and cleaning. Mostly they are goals for my life and if I don't get rid of my procrastination I will never achieve them. Here they are in no real particular order. Some are dependent on achieving others first (like travel required money which means another job, or one that is full time).

Goals:

• to travel
• to live in my own place
• to be able to entertain at my home
• to have my BF stop teasing me for my mess
• to defy others' expectations
• to have a better paying job
• to move away
• to lose the last 10lbs
• to have a functioning home office
• to have a career that inspires me
• to learn another language

Since school I have never really had routines. Even living on my own I was always a bit messy. I would love to be organized. In fact I am in love with organizers. Any type of product including planners and furniture, I just love. Never take me to an office supply store I could be there everywhere. I'm also a procrastinator. It's hard for me to say "just do it now" because frankly there is always something else I would rather be doing "now" and I save what I should be doing for "later" (or the last minute as the case may be).

In my other endeavors to follow the FlyLady baby steps I have picked up a few things. Like:

• making the bed - I don't do it everyday, but when I do I instantly feel better about my surroundings. Even if it's the only neat thing in my room, it's a nice sight.
• Dressing to shoes - even if I just put on a sun dress and sandals then sit around the house to watch tv or do homework, getting dressed means I know that my day has started and something will get done.
• Picking out tomorrow's clothes - I try for the most part to really select what I am going to wear, but sometimes it ends up being a mental exercise. Usually even this saves me time in the morning, but the worst part is when I can't find what I mentally noted.

I discovered flylady.net about 3 years ago. Since then I have tried off and on to follow the babysteps. If you're not familiar with the FlyLady click here to check out her website. The info is free, though, she does sell some items on her website and does have a couple of books out - Sink Reflections and Body Clutter. It's has great tools for the disorganized person - which is me. The great part about it - FlyLady has been there. She's not one of those organized people who says "just do it like this" This usually being the way they do things. No, she's been cluttered and messy, and her tools are really flexible to what works for individuals and their situation.

I've never been able to stick to the Baby Steps for more than a couple of weeks (probably more like 10 days or less). But I am determined this time to do it.

First of all a little bit about me:

I'm a "boomerang kid." Yep, I kind of hate to admit it, but I live with my mother and her husband even though I just turned 31. In November of 2007 I lost my job. I moved into a cheaper apartment than what I originally had and even got a roommate. Things were okay for 6 months (even though I had a wicked bought of bronchitis for 2 months) when one balmy April morning I walked out of the shower and had a stare-down with a cockroach. So much for a cheap apartment. After multiple exterminators and calls to the landlord, I called my mom and asked to come home. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I am not used to asking for anything and as a professional woman I never thought I'd have to move back "home" again.

After a few more months of looking I finally landed a few part-time jobs at different universities around me starting September 2008. Since then I have settled on just one part-time job (one other was not for me - teaching; and the third was too far of a commute to justify the time, gas, and parking) in my regular profession, and I am currently also going to school online with the hopes of either changing careers or starting a free-lance business.